Five Tips to Take Charge of Your Emotions

07/12/2010 by Laura Lewis

Close

Your Name*
 

Your Email*
 

Friend Email*
 

Message*
 

Feelings are much like waves. We can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.
~Jonatan Mårtensson

I am a passionate person in all that I do. I’m passionate about being a mother, a friend, a girlfriend, a writer, an entrepreneur, a consultant, a dog owner…well, the list goes on. It’s impossible for me to approach situations from a non-feeling place—there is always an underlying current of emotional energy, just waiting to be accessed. And since I am wired for a fiery nature, thanks to my red-headed Irish ancestors, keeping my emotions in check can be a challenge.

Wise spiritual teachers suggest that in order to become more evolved in body, mind and spirit, we must control our emotions. If we don’t keep our feelings in check, or channel them properly, they can be our own worst enemy, getting in the way of our progress and causing roadblocks in the pursuit of our dreams. Does that strike a chord?

A while back, I was in a relationship that involved a great deal of drama. The person I was involved with liked to “upset the apple cart,” as my Grandma Ruby would say. Peaceful dinners, holiday gatherings, family outings, dates—you name it—they would often turn to chaos because of this person’s negative, excitable personality. Any feelings of calm, happiness, peace and joy went straight out the window. This happened on numerous occasions. At that time I was in the “game,” following suit, even though it didn’t feel right. In reaction I indulged my own negatively charged emotions, and I often felt physically sick from the stress it was causing me. This was clearly an unhealthy dynamic. Finally, a coach of mine helped me to realize something—if you are a passionate person, it’s best to have an outlet for that passion. Otherwise you are more likely to experience (or even cause) drama in your own life. Wow! I realized then that if I had a creative outlet in which to channel my passion, it might shift my life.

Granted, I ultimately had to wake up to the fact that the relationship I was in was not healthy. But first I had to do a great deal of introspective thinking, which allowed me to see that I needed to be free of the person who was bringing me down. Clearing my mind allowed me to leave the unhealthy drama behind and channel my passion in a positive way.

If your emotions and passion are getting the best of you and getting in your way, check out the following 5 tips for taking charge of unruly emotions.

• Remember YOU are in charge of your own emotions. No one can make you feel angry, sad, stressed or happy. The key to that sentence is the word “make.” You always have a choice of how to feel.

• Meditate or have quiet time daily. Find peace by breathing slowly and with purpose. Close your eyes and focus on lovely music, pleasant thoughts, or nothing at all. Do this for at least five minutes, two to three times per day. The next time someone pushes your buttons you’ll be able to access the memory of this peaceful feeling and remember that you are in charge of your emotions.

• Find an outlet for your passion. Pursue a creative project such as writing, acting, drawing or painting, even volunteering for your community. Remember, you need a healthy outlet for all of the emotional energy you have!

• Get real about your life. Close your eyes and imagine your life as a play. What are the dynamics? What feels right? Wrong? Out of balance? Get real on your role. Are you a participant in someone else’s unhealthy drama? Or have you created drama all your own? If so, you have a choice of continuing in that role or quitting it altogether. You have the power to rewrite your role so that you can pursue a happier, healthier scenario.

• Seek Counsel. Are you having trouble thinking about your daily experiences objectively? Seek out the advice of life coach or counselor. Often, when we hear ourselves describe our situation to an objective observer, we can achieve clarity.