The No Complaints 21-Day Challenge: Tips for Success

07/12/2010 by Kurt Johnsen

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It doesn’t take long after putting that rubber band on your wrist and attempting to go 21 days without complaining before you realize: this challenge won’t be as easy as you first thought.

To be honest, I considered myself to be a pretty positive person before I started the challenge. But within an hour I caught myself complaining. I believe my first catch was: That song [name withheld] is terrible. Yes, labeling is complaining. The song wasn’t terrible. In fact, the artists, engineers and producers involved in the making of the song were extremely talented, and the song itself had given joy to millions of people, producing millions of dollars in revenue and in turn supporting thousands of jobs that supported thousands of families…and so on. When it came down to it, this song just wasn’t the style of music I enjoyed.

So my first tip to help you stop complaining is to stop labeling things. Take a moment to consider what you are saying and why you’re saying it. This practice alone will improve every relationship you have, because you will begin to communicate what you truly want to say.

Here’s the next tip: get over yourself! Everything is not all about you. So always remember to consider other people and other things. Here in Texas in the spring, many people will complain about the rain: Oh darn, it’s raining again. But the first thing I think of when it’s raining are the countless animals and plants that rejoice at the showers of spring. Then I think of all the gardeners, botanists and even regular old people like myself who love the rain. That helps me to feel positive about the rain, instead of negative.

This last tip is my favorite: look for the good. What can you do with what life is currently offering you? Isn’t that always the key question? The fact is, we live in the present, no matter what that present moment brings. If you come across a temporary delay in your life—something like traffic or being put on hold—look for a good way to use that time! In traffic, you can catch up with an old friend you have been meaning to call, or pop in a CD to learn a new language. On hold, you can do a quick brief meditation to relieve your stress and perhaps add years to your life. If someone is short with you, that’s an opportunity to work on your compassion and understanding.

Bottom line: wrap yourself up in the ever-present silver lining of life. Not only will this bring you joy and peace, it will make you the sort of person who seems to shine, and who attracts the attention and affection of everyone around you. Shine on!